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© 1984, The Board of Regents of the University of Nebraska on behalf of the University of Nebraska–Lincoln Extension. All rights reserved.


This NebGuide presents steps to follow to recognize and resolve marital conflicts through negotiation and finding mutually agreeable alternatives.

Do you ever use extreme or irrational tactics to gain your point (slamming doors, stomping around)?

Do you sometimes hurt your spouse in order to have the last word (sarcasm, name-calling)?

Do you store up grudges and use them to "hit" your partner over the head at a later time (revenge)?

Is your attitude "If I don't get what I want, I will quit cooperating?"

Do you continually expect others to do things the "right way" (your way)?

If you answered YES to any of the above, you are not "fighting fair," and are creating an interaction pattern of "I win, you lose." If continued over a period of time, you will be setting into motion a hurtful, destructive method of responding to differences and resolving disagreements.