Off-campus UNL users: To download campus access dissertations, please use the following link to log into our proxy server with your NU ID and password. When you are done browsing please remember to return to this page and log out.
Non-UNL users: Please talk to your librarian about requesting this dissertation through interlibrary loan.
My Secret Life in Film: A Memoir
Abstract
This creative dissertation is an original work in the genre of memoir, and consists of the first two sections of my book, My Secret Life in Film. I believe that my book speaks to contemporary experiences of childhood, violence, sexuality, and faith, and complicates conceptions of a ‘normal’ family. When I was three weeks old, my mother, who worked as a prostitute, was murdered near downtown Los Angeles. Her case remains unsolved, and I do not know my father. Her own parents were unwed. At first I lived with my maternal grandmother and the woman I believe to have been her partner. My grandmother died when I was four years old, and I was taken to live with my maternal grandfather, the larger-than-life owner of an adult video store, and his second wife, Marilyn. When I was twelve years old, our family moved on board an 85-foot wooden boat docked in an industrial section of the L.A. Harbor. The narrative concerns these childhood events, as well as my reinvestigation as an adult of my mother's case, my reunion with lost relatives, the search for my grandfather's true identity, and my own development as an adult. I attempt to highlight the reverberations of loss through the generations of my family, as well as its legacy of love and abandonment, deception and redemption. Stylistically, I have chosen a straightforward, traditional narrative in order to balance the eccentricities of my story. I, do, however, move back and forth in time in order to show the way past events resonate in the present.
Subject Area
American literature|Creative writing
Recommended Citation
Grey Carlisle, Kelly, "My Secret Life in Film: A Memoir" (2011). ETD collection for University of Nebraska-Lincoln. AAI3449659.
https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/dissertations/AAI3449659